Having a wedding this year while you’re young is definitely one of the most financially difficult things to pull off. The whole DIY trend is strong in weddings, and won’t go away. However, DIY everything really is a lot of work (and props to my friends Becca and Dean who pulled it off beautifully)! Brides on a budget or DIY brides, please don’t take this post the wrong way – not everyone can afford professional everywhere and that’s okay, you deserve to shine and feel absolutely wonderful on your day, just prioritize where it’s important for you. This post is geared towards people who are planning a traditional full-day wedding with ceremony and reception, and attempts to highlight where we professionals can help with that!
First off, think about all the beautiful weddings you see on TV, in magazines, on blogs like mine (heehee!)… even if it looks simple, it’s not simple, and often not cheap! My photography can only go so far – no question about it, the more expensive a wedding, the better it shows in photos as well. Think about the DIY projects you might see on HGTV. A $25 computer desk, sounds great right? But do you have the expertise, the tools, or the time to do it? The materials might cost $25, but your time is valuable, if this was your first desk it might be wobbly, and that’s why DIY can and often does end up costing just as much as if you hired a professional.
I was once part of a college staff that planned a 300+-person international relations conference in Tokyo, Japan (HPAIR!!!). Planning took a YEAR, I was just the graphic designer/part-time photographer. We had a staff of over 20 people here, and another staff in Tokyo. We chose a prime location. And still, the attendees had to pay several hundred dollars as registration fees. So if a conference costs so much, took so many people to plan, a wedding is up there in difficulty and scope.
If after everything you read below you still have a budget but want a dream wedding fit for a magazine appearance, here is some unconventional advice: Wait one more year to get married. Most other wedding websites or DIY books would tell you to DIY this or that – you know what, these websites want you to keep returning to the website so you’re looking at their ads, and the DIY books just want to sell themselves… I’m telling you the same advice I would take. Cook at home, get another year’s salary, take staycations, and save up that money. Take more time to plan it and research your vendors or take lessons to do things DIY. If having a lavish one-day celebration means that much to you, then this might be what it takes. Honestly, if you ask me, the marriage and everything that comes after is more important – and you can always have a fabulous anniversary party when you’re old and rich ;). So relax, adjust your expectations, get educated, and make the best of what you can.
Now, Why do professionals cost so much? Remember this: You’re not just hiring someone’s time, you’re hiring them for their knowledge, talent, and expertise. Most of you probably are not business owners – your job pays you your salary directly, but you don’t see what your company has to pay for the rent of your office space, the desk and chair you’re working on, the corporate taxes, the money it took to hire you, your benefits such as insurance, the coffee in your kitchen, the software licenses, the phone and cable internet lines. Many wedding vendors are like single-person CEOs, they have to factor ALL those costs into just their operating costs, and THEN add material, labor, professional talent, education on top… and oh yeah, they need to make enough money to live in an expensive place such as metro Boston. When we charge the rates that we do, we’re not gouging you, most seasoned vendors know their worth, it simply costs that much to meet your expectations. If you do happen to find a wedding vendor who charges way less than other comparable vendors – alarm bells should go off! Either you found a hidden gem who was just starting out (like me in my first year), a vendor who has another full-time job (so they can be cheaper, but are less flexible), or this person’s work is not quality and they’re out to fool you, or this person is going to go out of business soon.
Most wedding vendors don’t necessarily have a different price for weddings vs. other events – and please, don’t ever lie to a vendor and say that you’re hiring them for a “party” and not a  ”wedding” – that is cause for a lot of trouble. Some vendors will try to explain why your budgets are too low, but many vendors would often ignore brides who come in with an unrealistic budget because they’re afraid that you’re taking them to be cheap labor who will work for nothing – which I’m sure isn’t usually the case, you probably didn’t know! The best way to gain a vendor’s good relationship is to appreciate their work, learn first about what realistic costs are for their services (ask past brides, ask the vendors directly what is a reasonable charge without revealing your budget, look at books and online resources), and then adjust your budget towards what you value. I mean, I seriously didn’t know a lot of things cost the way they should have! After networking with a lot of vendors, I’ve found that usually, take what you THINK something should have cost, and multiply it by TWO. Then you’ll get to about the average price in your area.
Why hire a…
1) Wedding planner – The amount of time and money they can save you might actually make them worth it. Their expertise is second to none – they’ve seen many weddings happen, you haven’t. They can set many of your expectations straight from the start. I’ve seen people take several weeks of unpaid leave to plan their weddings. Well, take that several weeks’ wages and apply it to a wedding planner, and you’ve got a win-win situation – you still earn your money, and someone else is doing the hard stuff for you.
2) Wedding coordinator - Can’t afford a planner? At least have day-of coordination. Many people have used friends or relatives, some get them with the venue, but if you hire a private DOC, you can ensure that your interests are going to be met. If you’re not the most organized person in the world, it will show, and why plan for so long only to have the execution falter? Coordinators help you with a reasonable timeline, communicate with vendors, set up things your venue might not necessarily do (place cards, favors). Let your friends and family rest and enjoy the wedding, coordinators are there for you from beginning to end!
3) Wedding photographer – Your wedding photos last longer than anything else – we know this, you know this, and outside of wedding planners, your photographer is probably going to spend the most hours working on your wedding – so don’t make the mistake here of hiring someone you’re going to regret. I will write a post later on what actually goes into wedding photography
4) DJ or Wedding Band – Unless you are really good at coming up with playlists, know how to work AV equipment (it took me a while to learn just how to set up a one-mixer-amp system in my worship band days), know how to judge the flow of a party and change the playlist accordingly, and can keep people away from commandeering the playlist themselves… find a musician or DJ you can click with and whose equipment can accomodate the size of your party. People will remember a wedding where there wasn’t much dancing and they wanted to dance.
5) Hair and makeup artist – Now, I know many a lady who is talented with makeup, but for the bride, especially in deep summer, your makeup has to last through crazy heat and humidity, lots of hugs and tears, and many smiles. Makeup can smudge, hair can droop. Professional makeup and hair really makes a difference in the photos!
6) Caterer - You pay top dollar for a good restaurant, why do anything less for a wedding where your guests can remember the quality of the food?
7) Florist - I’ve seen beautiful DIY flowers, however, if you want really fancy arrangements that are fresh and last, you and your wedding party probably don’t want to pull an allnighter or an early morning before your wedding setting these up. A knowledgeable florist can get you good deals on flowers AND save you the time and stress of making everything – given that flowers are so fragile to begin with – and make really beautiful arrangements. Florists work with many different kinds of budgets – you might not get the MOST or PRETTIEST flowers with a smaller budget, as it’s very much a cost-driven pricing structure
8) Videographer – A photo freezes only a moment, but video captures the sights, sounds, in motion. A polished clip also takes a LONG time to edit (I once pulled 2 allnighters working on a 20-minute slideshow for a bunch of college seniors in my college Christian fellowship, and then my computer kept crashing trying to export the monster), so don’t be surprised that this would cost you a lot because it’s a lot of man hours
9) Wedding cake baker – I think shows like Ace of Cakes and The Cake Boss show you just how hard cakes are to make, but have also heightened expectations. Be prepared to have a fat wallet for a cake by Ace of Cakes’ Duff (minimum $1000). I know my Mom, a bona fide freelance cake maker herself (her sponge cake is internationally known :D), spends HOURS perfecting a “simple-looking” cake.
Last but not least, how to make your wedding experience even better? Treat your vendors like you would treat a friend – just because you’re paying them money does not mean that you should boss them around like servants – we really hope you’re not taking cues from the show Bridezillas. The better the relationship, the more likely they will adore you and provide you better service! We vendors LOVE 1) getting paid on time! 2) Getting fed and quenched – if your guests and you are eating, your vendors who are still present should be fed too 3) Most importantly, getting credit, getting 5-star reviews!!!!!!!! and referrals! Trust me when I say, they are worth more than you think, taking 5 minutes to write us a review online might just mean a new client for us next year. Pub us on your wedding website, on Facebook, your wedding bios on those planning websites, tell your engaged friends about us, a little thank you goes a long, long way!
Anyway, I’m done being on my soapbox. These are only the major vendors I can think off the top of my head, other vendors, please don’t feel offended if I haven’t included you! ANYTHING that you want to look really good, look for a professional unless you yourself had a talent and the time to execute. I definitely have some favorite vendors in mind for Boston area people, so ask me and I might be able to point you the right way =)
by Shang
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